Wednesday, August 8, 2012

And I Would Walk 500 Miles

So, back in April I decided that I was going to pull myself together and lose some weight. It didn't exactly work out. Things came up, and I didn't go to the gym, and I was too busy/lazy to make lunch, and the snacks were RIGHT THERE. Total fail. But now I'm in consular, where I can leave work promptly at 4:30 every day and the DCM's snacks are way far away on the second floor and the other side of the building. Besides, I now have more incentive to get in shape for the Irish hotties, so it's time to hit the gym. For real this time.

I had been using the exercise bike at the gym to decent effect until it vanished in the gym overhaul a few months ago and has yet to be replaced. This leaves me with little choice but to face my nemesis, the treadmill. The Foreign Service seems to be full of runners but I am not one of them. I have lousy knees, so I run only when being chased by tigers or other large dangerous predators. Fortunately, even in Africa, this doesn't happen that often. So how can I get my heart rate up without making my knees scream? There's an Olympic sport for that.

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Yes, racewalking. A highly competitive, demanding sport whose most notable feature is how its champions can push the limits of human endurance while simultaneously looking ridiculous. It's kind of unfair - no one goes up to Michael Phelps and says "You just won a zillion gold medals but people thought you looked pretty silly doing it. Any comment?" but that's all the poor Olympic racewalkers seem to get. But you know how racewalkers look, besides ridiculous? Thin. Really really thin. The world's best are walking 6-minute miles and burning ungodly amounts of calories doing it.

Now there's no way I'll ever walk or run a 6-minute mile, but burning ungodly amounts of calories without destroying my joints sounds pretty damn good. Maybe I should give this a try. I tend to look ridiculous when exercising anyway, so what do I have to lose?

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